Stephen King is a Man

I was reading Stephen King's book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft last night. In the book he mentions that one of the ways to improve your writing is to read a lot. He mentions that he is a slow reader and still manages to read 70-80 books a year. And he then explains how he is able to read that many books a year. He takes a book with him wherever he goes and reads whenever he has a moment of spare time.  He reads in waiting rooms, theater lobbies, in checkout lines, in the bathroom, etc.

This all sounded great to me and I started thinking about how many books I'd be able to read now that I knew his secret. Until it dawned on me that Stephen King is a man.

Why does that matter, do you ask? Because in all of those places that he mentions are good places to read because he has a spare moment, I do not have a spare moment. I have children.

In waiting rooms I'm constantly searching for one thing after another to keep my kids entertained and reasonably quiet. In theater lobbies I'm making sure none of them get lost. In checkout lines I'm constantly fielding questions about the many things they want me to buy for them and preventing full-blown meltdowns because we've been shopping for the past hour. And I can't remember the last time I went to the bathroom when I wasn't followed in, had someone loudly knocking on the bathroom door, or could hear a fight getting underway.

And I know what you're thinking, men have children too. And they do. But it's not the same. If my husband is thinking about running to the store to buy something, he just grabs his keys and his wallet and goes. If I have to go to the store, I have to take my youngest to the bathroom first to ensure there isn't an accident at the store. I have to bring a diaper bag just in case there is an accident. I have to tell my other children to go to the bathroom so that I don't have to visit the one in Walmart. I think about whether or not my kids need a snack because they might not have eaten in a while. I have to ensure that they all have coats and shoes. And then I have to grab my keys and the diaper bag and load all of the kids into the car making sure that they are all clipped in. And that's just to get into the car to go to the store.

My children are attached to me. They will come and ask me to help them with something if I'm in the shower and they'll walk right by my husband to do it. My husband is more than happy to help them, but they don't even think of asking him. It's just not the same.

And because I'm a mother of small children (and desperately love those children), I don't think I'll be reading 70-80 books this year. Sorry Stephen.