Focus on What You Can Control

So often in life we worry about things that we have absolutely no control over. We worry about national politics, the most recent violent crime, what another person said and did, etc. And at the end of all that time spent worrying and thinking we have accomplished absolutely nothing.

Worrying about things outside of our control only leads to us feeling more and more frustrated and powerless. So why do we keep doing it? Why do I think about how my job or my life would be better if I could just change so and so? Why do I pour over countless Internet articles about the latest horrific event and think about how I would think and feel if it had happened to me or my children? And more importantly, how do I stop thinking about things I have absolutely no control over?

The easiest way is to simply shift our focus from things that we can't control to things that we can. So if you are having a problem with your marriage because your spouse is horrible and treats you badly, stop focusing on your spouse because that is something that you can't control. Instead, focus on yourself. If you want to have a better marriage, then be a better spouse. If you want to have a great marriage, then focus on being a great spouse. You can't improve your marriage by improving your spouse, but you can improve your marriage by improving yourself.

The same principle works in all areas of your life. If you want a better work environment, then focus on being a better employee and coworker. If you want a better relationship with your kids, then focus on becoming a better parent. If you want to lose weight and force that scale to move, then focus on being a healthier person. If you want to make the world a better place, then focus on being a better person and helping others.

So stop worrying and stop playing the blame game because it only makes your life worse. If we truly want to be happier people, then we need to focus on improving what we have control over. And most of the time what we have control over is ourselves. Take control of your happiness today because only you can.

You Pay Your Kid to Read?

"You're paying him to read?" My friend asked recently. "Doesn't he already love to read?"

The answer to my friend's question is: yes, my son does love to read and yes, we are paying him to read books. How did this come about you might ask. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago my husband caught our soon-to-be nine-year-old son's attention and made a deal with him. He promised to pay our son $35 if he could read the entire Harry Potter series before school starts in August, which is basically $5 a book.

My son had been reluctant to read Harry Potter despite loving to read books in general and loving the whole Harry Potter idea. He told us that he didn't want to read about the large snake in book two because it was scary. But for $5 a book my son's fears soon disappeared.

It has been less than three weeks and my son is already on Book 6 of the seven books. I'm pretty sure that he'll finish before school starts...well before school starts. We have also made a similar deal with our younger daughter with books that are more on her reading level and she is also feverishly pounding away at her stack of books.

So why have we chosen to pay our children to read, especially when they already really enjoy reading? Simply put, because we think that it is something truly valuable. Some people pay their children to take out the trash or sweep the kitchen. And we pay our children for chores like these as well. But why not pay your children for doing something that will truly benefit them?

Maybe you think that reading isn't really that important. Well, it is. Not only does it give your children a wider view of the world and allows them to learn about and immerse themselves in different cultures, history, scientific exploration, moral dilemmas, etc., but it also gives them an incredible leg up in life in whatever they happen to pursue.

Practically speaking, if your child is a good reader, they will do better on whatever test on any subject they take simply because they will be able to read faster, giving them more time to answer and because they will comprehend the material more quickly and easily. They will understand math better because they will understand their math book better. They will remember history better because their reading comprehension will be greater. They will know how to perform an experiment well because they can easily read and follow the instructions. School will be so much easier if you can teach your child to excel at reading. And even life will be all that much smoother if your child is a voracious reader.

So keep paying your children to take out the trash. I'm sure they'll be well prepared to work as a waste collector in the future. As for me, I'm paying my kids to read.